Saturday, March 10, 2012

Married or not, here I go

Often times in each of our lives, don't we all need a place to let go and be ourselves? 

 

As we go about our days, there are ropes thrown out from different directions and often we feel lucky if we can turn those ropes into a tightly wrapped ball of yarn that allows unlimited room for more of the same. We deal with work, cleaning, laundry, kids, games, scouts, lessons and bedtimes. There are so many people to answer to and more to answer for. There are calls to make and bills to pay, pick-ups, drop offs and stores.  So much to distract a gal from being herself or even remembering who she is until one day she wakes to find an empty nest with a man she barely remembers but caters to between chores.  This ambiguity is what often causes 25 year old marriages to be filed and

left at courthouses by the thousands in a decree made for breaking a promise not only to one another, but also to God. 

I have a routine that freshens things for me and have enjoyed it for a few years. My friends and I find it cleansing now and then to leave behind the responsibilities that bind us so that we can gain some recognition of who we were before the weight of the world became our joy.  In my experience as a woman, some time of mutual bonding while sorting through likes, dislikes, commonalities, differences, joys and disappointments is essential to fully be able to appreciate the direction our lives are going.  For that, my friends and I arrange Girls' Night Out.  Married, single, live-ins... whatever our personal situation, we get out once a week and have dinner & drinks in a place where we are fairly known but can enjoy completely new experiences just being ourselves.  Leaving judgments at the door and talking it all out while meeting new and interesting people who are there to do the same, it's been a great source of relief, release and renewal for my week.


Of course, there is the occasional man who will denounce the very idea of this.  "What do you do that disallows husbands to go?" I've been asked. In my case, men are always welcomed though not always interested once there. Hanging out with a few women who are there to share girl-talk and drinks may look good on paper but when you're the only married man in the group, my husband can attest, it's not all your imagination envisions. The theme is always simple, let it out and let no man come between us.  It's all about us ladies lessening stress and laughing for the health of it.

So in the end there's a tightrope we walk and a tree rope to swing out on. When a simple jump in the lake of friendship and fun is a safe way to refresh, I feel blessed to have friends to swim with and a man who's arms are not restraining but comforting, loving and understanding. When we wake one day to find our nest empty, I hope he will still see the girl he married. I know he will still be my tall, cool glass of water.

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